Introducing "Ndatopa"

Most days are nice here, I wake up, drink a cup of coffee with sugar and powdered milk, look out my window at sunshine with my cat sleeping on my lap. In those moments, life really couldn't be any sweeter!
Whereas some days are full of so many challenges, it's a weight almost to heavy to bear.
As I write, I am in the bed of a small truck, smashed in with about 15 other passengers all traveling on a mainly dirt road to Nkhotokota. I'm sitting on the metal hubcap of a truck tire, smashed in so tight, when we hit the slightest bump one part of my body goes numb while another pinches. Every time I attempt to shift my weight, someone quickly takes advantage and pushes with all their strength to take the "vacant" space my shoulder "created." Did I mention, the ride is almost 2 hours long?! I try to maintain my patience and keep a cool head but my alter ego, the raging "Ndatopa" is on the verge of ripping through my skin and taking care of business.
Ndatopa was created one fine day while biking home from the market. While I'm dripping sweat and panting working my way up one of the biggest hills on the granny gear, a man on the side of the road thought that would be a perfect time to start a conversation. He asked me the typical greeting "muli bwanji" (how are you) and instead of responding in the typical fashion with "ndili bwino" (I'm fine) I, not being in the best mood, decided to mix things up a bit and responded in what seemed like the most logical manner, with honesty and told him "Ndatopa" (I'm tired). He burst into laughter and kept on his way, as did I. And that was the birth of the not so understanding, not so friendly, not so happy lappy, Ndatopa.
Most of the time, I have the power to contextualize the situation I'm in and walk away, but sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, Ndatopa comes out, in small bits and pieces. I've got so little control over her especially since feelings of this kind of rage, prior to my time in Malawi, did not exist.
The only thing that keeps Ndatopa under control this time, is the hope that this day of traveling will pay off and in the Nkhotakota post office there may lay the hefty reward of a care package, maybe even 2 from home!!! Oh please let there be care packages waiting!
And there was! One from my Dad and Shirley and one from my Mom and Dan! How lucky am I?! A difficult day yielded the highest of rewards!